Now what?

I just need to let it out. Need to focus on something. I'm a jumble of emotions, so I'm just going to type and keep typing and see what comes out. I see the piano in front of me, and I should play something. Then I can focus on getting better. But even the piano reminds me. Why have I been listening to so many sad songs? It's not very good. It also doesn't help that I'm moody right now.

1. "I Don't Believe You" - P!nk
2. "Umbrella" - Epik High ft. Younha
3. "1 Minute 1 Second" - Epik High
4. "Mr. Brightside" - The Killers
5. "Memory" - Younha ft. Tablo

This song is happier ("The Way I Am" - Ingrid Michaelson), but it doesn't help much. Don't watch the video! Just listen.

I recently found a CD.. kinda of scratched up but it still works. Sometimes I personify how objects feel, especially regarding feelings of loneliness. I wonder how lonely that CD was until it was found today. I hadn't seen it for the past 2 years, at the very least.

I just realized that I don't really talk to people. I should do that more. I guess I'm just super shy and quiet. I'm hungry, but I don't feel like making food to eat. The hunger is distracting, so that's pretty good.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but I guess I didn't. Not knowing what you want is pretty dangerous. Things just happen, and you can't stop it all from cascading like a line of dominoes because you don't know what you want to happen.

My grades were less than stellar.. I'll work on getting those up.

What do I need to do? Time for another list!

1. work study
2. health insurance
3. textbooks
4. figure out what to pack
5. visit USC?
6. figure out what to do Friday on my girl-date haha
7. guitar case
8. new backpack or messenger bag

I want to lose myself in the flow of life.