2 weeks ago I felt this dreadful, calm, patient beast within me wake from its slumber. Now it's baring it's teeth, ready to break the chains which once kept it docile. I'm losing my tenuous grip on reality.
I'm afraid, but I must face this alone.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Weird
Hm, it seems like I only post things when I'm sad. Haha, it is a more contemplative mood though.
I entered the school year hoping for the best, hoping for lots of activities, hoping for a change. At this point, I don't see too much that is different: I'm still jobless, still without a huge time commitment, still without too much of a social life. (Quite a shame, I know.)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
So blue
School just started, yet I can't help but feel down. I want to get out there and do things! I applied to some jobs, so hopefully I will be employed this semester. I wanted to get involved in either dance or martial arts, but I haven't signed up for anything yet. I'm taking the minimum amount of units, so I want to really do something this semester.
I can't move. I'm like a non-modal fungi. (Bio 1b reference! :D) I'm trying so hard to express myself on here so that I might feel better, but I don't know what I feel. I don't know how to describe this tumultuous yet calm anxiety. I guess I'm just lonely. My friend told me that's the most dangerous feeling of all.
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